Read these questions OUT LOUD and take turns answering each question:

Some of you may be tempted to skip this section if you are not “religious.” However, spirituality often affects us in ways we don’t even realize. Most people are introducted to spiritual topics at a very young age when our personalities and brains are still developing. Good, bad, right, or wrong we all tend to have opinions and thoughts about spirituality and religion.

Go through and read the following aloud and discuss each area openly:

1. Movies/TV: Do you care what rating movies have? Will it bother you if your partner watches X or R movies if you choose not to?

2. What kind of music do you like to listen to? Will it bother you if there are cuss words or vulgar language in your partner’s music? If so how could you talk through this?

3. How will you decide what music will play in the car if you are riding together?

4. Do you consider any kinds of music or TV shows offensive?

5. Praying: Will you desire or expect your partner to pray with you? Will it bother you if they don’t want to?

6. Church/Synagogue/spiritual gathering: Will you attend services together? Would it be okay with you if they chose to attend somewhere else?

7. Reading: Will you want to read any religious based books together? Will it offend you if they don’t want to join you?

8. What spiritual things would you like to pass on to your children?

9. Is there any clothing that you would consider “inappropriate” for your partner to wear? What about your children or future children?

10. Will either of your parent’s have a say in the religious/spiritual beliefs you pass on to your children?

11. If you are having problems in your relationship, are you open to talking with a pastor/spiritual advisor/priest/counselor, etc?

12. Discuss what the following phrase means to each of you “A Dictator Demands. A Leader Inspires!”

13. Describe the differences between Leading vs. Bulldozing.

14. Describe whether you feel you are quick to forgive or whether you tend to hold on to grudges.

15. Do you like to go to religious conferences or attend self-improvement courses?

16. Have an open discussion on each of your thoughts about lingerie/pornography. Be specific on what you are okay with and what you are uncomfortable with.

17. In what scenarios would divorce be allowed in your eyes: (Address each issue below and each of you give your thoughts on each topic)

Below are common reasons people get divorced. Discuss how you would handle each one:

Your partner physically hurts you

Your partner is abusive toward your child

Drug addiction



Hiding Money

Joins a religion you don’t agree with

Doesn’t get along with your family or friends

Your partner starts smoking or doing drugs

You find out they secretly ran up $30,000 in credit card debt since you got married


Real Talk:

Talk through each issue below using good conflict resolution.

Practice using our comunication formula:

When ____________ (insert factual event)

I feel _____________ (insert your secondary emotions)

It would help me if_____________ (work together to brainstorm long-term solutions using compromise and negotiation. Remember to bounce the ball back and forth taking turns acknowledging your partner’s ideas/message before you give your own ideas. Visualize stepping in their shoes, try to think what they are thinking and try to feel what they are feeling.)

Topics for Discussion:

1.Your partner announces that from now on the weekends they will be going boating instead of joining you for the religious services you usually attend as a family.

2.You find out your partner has been meeting with your pastor/priest in private.

Family Vision: Post somewhere that you can see it daily “Top 10 things I love about My Partner”



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